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OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Giving thanks edition: Kickin’ around Caracas, Pt. 5
Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.) So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX. “Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked. “This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry. “No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.” “Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains. “Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?” “Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.” I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though. “Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.” “Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.” “Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.” “Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.” “You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.” We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl. “Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.” After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business. “So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?” “No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment. I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code. “Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued. “Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?” “You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated. “And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired. “Yes?” I cautiously venture. “Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled. “Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured. “That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.” Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?” “Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks. “And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed. “Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “ I agreed. “OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...” “Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.” “Ahem. Those threeultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.” “Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.” “Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.” “I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked. “But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked. “Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head. “I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.” “Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.” So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked. “Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack. “Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied. “Fuckbuckets.” I groused. “There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled. “Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled. “I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed. After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge. “So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.” “Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction. “Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.” After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130. Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite. Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded. Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull. Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era… I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza. She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing. I can hardly wait. I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness. After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks. I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern. Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse? There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak. “Blue,” I said. “Brue?” was the reply. “Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued. Look of total bewilderment. I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant. “珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?] “Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be. They toddle off to find the chef. “How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks. “Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed. All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile. “Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words… “お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください” [O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.] “Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.” “OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen. Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill. “Crack tubes!” Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it. Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace. Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig. Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends. We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’. “I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor. I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down. “Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.” “Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically. “I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could. She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth. I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest. “Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.” “Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley. She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor. “Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles. Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun. “Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.” “You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass. “Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky… “Beam Suntory, right?” “You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation. “And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked. Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip. “Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently. We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company. I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters. She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health. We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed. The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show. Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat. Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower. “This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.” “Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered. “Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports. “That’s good”, I note. “But…” “There’s always the but…” I groan. “…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.” There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.” Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit. “Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear. The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain. I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service. “Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…” “Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.” So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself. “Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?” He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates. “Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles “No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink. “But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again. “So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked. “Yeah?”, he stammered back. I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails. “OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.” I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink. “Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed. “Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked. “But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued. “I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled. That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while. “Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked. “But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered. Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied, “All the way to the crash site.” He went white. “...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.” He went limp. Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload. Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii. We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was. They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal. I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did. “Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked. “Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied. “Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.” “Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.” “Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.” “Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.” “I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway. At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport. While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!” “Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.” “I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped. “Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied. He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted. “Yeah? Like what?” he asks. “Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.” “Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.” Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.” He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge. I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane. He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts. “No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins. “Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”. “And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies. “Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.” He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH. I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge. The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium. I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different. It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella. “Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular. One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically. I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar. I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically. Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes. “Excuse me!” I hear. Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit. “What?” “That cigar…” “Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward. “Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes. Instantly my demeanor switches 1800. “Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile. “Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks. “Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances. “Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?” “Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said. “Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens. “Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle. She chuckles back. “And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake. “Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask. “On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies. “But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask. “She was from Truk, an island…” “In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked. “Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked. “Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said. “That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked. “Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle. Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me. “Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?” My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open. “Hella?” I asked. “Yes?” “May I ask you a favor?” “You can ask…” “Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask. “Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies. “I thought so. Many thanks.” I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet. “Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed. “Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud. “No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked. “Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed. “But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand. “What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand. “Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said. “Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party. “Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella. Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well. “Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted. Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone. “Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge. “Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over. “You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo. He cuts and fires up his heater. “What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks. “Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply. “No. I mean right now.” He clarifies. “Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply. “Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks. “My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply. Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end. Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies. Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer. We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off. Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it. I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”. “Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion. “One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another. “No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo. “But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain. I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.” She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion. Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see. “So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask. “Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues. “You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied. “Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft. I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense. “Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection. “Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins. “So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo. “Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing. I pound on Toivo’s back. “Heimlich time?” I ask. Toivo signals ‘no’. “Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks. “Just my usual”, I innocently replied. “Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much. “Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily. “Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out. “The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool. “It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean. “Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled. “You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink. “No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest. Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore. “You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings. “Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly. I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable. Great fieldcraft, indeed. I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium. He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing. Then I delivered the strategic missile strike. “Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…” He swivels to look at me. “And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly. Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move. I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane. Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire. Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business. I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious. “Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked. “Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile. “Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said. “Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.” “Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway. I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH. Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up. Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane. We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun. Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal. We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip. She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink. Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks. Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs. “Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!” “No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear. “Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!” “’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly. Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole. “Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly. “What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it. He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose. “Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.” To be continued…⇝
2: Vote!: So, as a reminder the deadline to register to vote is on Monday, October 5, visit http://govoteky.com/ for information on how to request your absentee ballot. Voting absentee is the safest way to vote this year because of COVID-19. So if you do not have access to the internet, you can call your county clerk's office to request your absentee ballot. The clerk's office will complete your absentee application over the phone with you. So that's an even easier step to be able to vote this year.
3: PPE: As we all know PPE is a vital part of protecting Kentuckians during this pandemic and I am proud to report that, as of this week, our Department of Public Health warehouse has completed the stockpile. There is enough PPE in Kentucky for a 120 day surge.
4: Mask Up KY
Dr Stack: And then if you look at Kentucky, we had a nice long plateau, almost three months, at about 50 new cases per million per day. Then we surged up, and we have now reached a plateau of 150 to 160 new cases per million per day. But here's the challenge: the good news is we're not exponentially growing, the bad news is, if you were to draw a line against this, we have a general upward slope which means that actually over the last four to six weeks we're losing ground, it's getting worse as we go on.
Dr Stack: The next thing is you have to get your flu shot. Flu spreads the same way can mask, you get your flu shot, there's a good chance we could shut down influenza this year. Again, if you're sloppy and careless it’s going to be impossible to know who has the flu and who has COVID, and people who are uncertain about their status are going to be subjected to a lot more needless worry, angst, and probably inconvenience, while they go through additional testing.
Dr. Stack: if you have a cough, a cold, runny nose, a fever, chills: do not leave your house, do not go to work, do not go to school. This, of all years, is not the year to be casual and spread any kind of infection, because you know what? If you’ve got a cough and a fever people aren't going to assume you’ve got the common cold, they're going to be worried you have COVID-19. Don't do it, if you're sick, stay home. If you're sick enough to need medical care, contact your primary care provider and seek advice.
Is the 15-minute test going to become available in KY? -- So the White House announced, I think it was yesterday, that it's going to be shipping a very large number of Abbott rapid tests, and there's another word that's in there, because there's been two types of rapid tests, to the country. It will be about 100 million more to the entire country. Kentucky will receive its portion based on our population. We are going to receive them all between now and December 31st.
Will the state offer any further extension on renewals of driver's license similar to what was announced in July? That order expires September 30th. -- Yes. Tomorrow, I'll be signing an executive order that allows for people to renew their driver's license by a dropbox or by mail. You still have to renew it in one of those two fashions, all the way up to February of 2021. It doesn't automatically extend
Do you have a progress report on the job Ernst & Young is doing on unemployment? -- We can provide- we will work on that tomorrow an update on E&Y's work on unemployment. It's been absolutely necessary to prevent us from falling further behind. We are gaining ground but there continue to be a significant number of claims that we are working through.
Lt. Gov: Alright, good evening everybody. I'm going to kick us off today with the Fast 4 at 4, lots of good news to share.
First is a jobs announcement. The latest company to join Kentucky's manufacturing sector is Chapin International, a manufacturer of metal compressed air sprayers based in Bavaria, New York. Chapin plans to invest nearly $5.5M, and create up to 100 full time jobs in the years ahead. The location will manufacture and distribute metal compressed air sprayers for industrial use, agriculture, home and garden, and other applications. This is a great project, located in Rockcastle County, Kentucky. Representatives from Chapin reached out to our local and state economic development teams just over two weeks ago, and the company has already found a home in an existing former manufacturing facility in the Rockcastle business park. This is a testament to Team Kentucky's dedication to helping businesses find the best fit for them, as quickly as possible. Kentucky's logistical advantages and ideal geographic location were major factors in our ability to bring Chapin to the Commonwealth. We are at the center of a 34-state distribution area in the eastern United States, with the existing infrastructure necessary for companies to ship products to customers as quickly as possible. It's one of the many advantages Kentucky offers companies, and we're glad to have the opportunity to help Chapin International business. Investments like this one from Chapin will help us to build a better Kentucky.
Alright, second up is voting. As many of you know I'm a former civics teacher and so one of my favorite things to do was to talk to my students about the democratic process and how important it is to be a responsible citizen and vote. As we all know there is record turnout expected all across the country for the 2020 general election. And as a mom, it's very exciting for me because this is the first presidential election in which Emma, Will, and Nate will all get to participate, Evelyn is the only one that doesn't get to and she's only eight months old, so. Our family has engaged in many discussions about democracy and how lucky we are to live in this country at a time when we have the right to vote. So, as a reminder the deadline to register to vote is on Monday, October 5, visit http://govoteky.com/ for information on how to request your absentee ballot. Voting absentee is the safest way to vote this year because of COVID-19. So if you do not have access to the internet, you can call your county clerk's office to request your absentee ballot. The clerk's office will complete your absentee application over the phone with you. So that's an even easier step to be able to vote this year.
Third, we have more good news about PPE. Kentuckians have continued to answer the call in the fight against COVID-19. It is this team Kentucky spirit that makes our home so special. I can tell you that spirit of unity, despite a global pandemic, is on full display through the Commonwealth from Paducah to Pikeville, and from Maysville to Monticello. Two weeks ago governor Beshear and I visited the Department for Public Health's warehouse to show the success in securing PP for frontline workers, and other Kentuckians. As we all know PPE is a vital part of protecting Kentuckians during this pandemic and I am proud to report that, as of this week, our Department of Public Health warehouse has completed the stockpile. There is enough PPE in Kentucky for a 120 day surge. Governor Beshear has talked about the time, earlier in the pandemic, when he spent days on the phone trying to secure PPE. He will tell you, he was not sure that this day would come. This is one of the successes for Kentucky in our battle against COVID-19. Our team has worked diligently to secure the protective equipment we need in our hospitals, in our long term care facilities, and other crucial frontline jobs. We appreciate those workers, our corporate partners, and everyday Kentuckians who contributed to make sure that we could reach this point.
And last but not least, we're going to talk about Mask Up Kentucky and show some really good examples from across this Commonwealth of folks who are wearing their masks and doing the right thing.
Alright, thank you to our Lieutenant Governor. And today, continuing school pride here in the Commonwealth, I'm wearing Knox County Public Schools. This was sent to me by their Director of Communications with a really nice note talking about how their community had come together to fight for each other, to protect one another, and I love- this is this the line they have under their letterhead: “Inspiring leaders and changing futures one child at a time.” So thank you to Knox Public Schools. Also want to let you know we have a new member of our production team, who is Jim, who's helping us out here, moving forward, so now we have Kenneth at home. We miss you Kenneth. We don't miss the slides, but we miss you, James, who is here working on that and now, Jim as well. Now, I've known Kenneth for a long time, he'll take that in good humor or we'll find out about it on Twitter here in just a little bit.
Alright, while that's good fun- today's COVID report is not.
Today we are reporting our second highest total that we have had since March the sixth at 1,018.
Positive cases today: 1,018 - What that means is that we are on pace to have even more cases than last week where we set a record number of cases.
Total tests conducted: 1,446,385 (PCR: 1,362,929, Serology: 55,904)
Positivity Rate: 4.24% - That's a positive thing.
Total hospitalized: 5,250
Currently hospitalized: 589
Total in ICU: 1,520
Currently in ICU: 129
On a ventilator: 81 - Please pray for those individuals
Total recovered: 11,792
New deaths today: 8 - Sadly we are reporting a loss of eight additional Kentuckians due COVID-19 or that COVID-19 was a contributing factor to their deaths.
Total Deaths: 1,170
New deaths by county: 68 M Hickman, 71 F Henderson, 77 M Floyd, 86 M Bullitt, 86 F Kenton, 85 F Floyd, 87 F Kenton, 93 F Belle
Let's remember and think about those families, let's make sure we turn on our green lights, and let's also know when we have 1,018 cases it means we're going to lose more people moving forward. 1,018 cases is far too many. It does mean we're doing a lot of tests, and that's important; because we got to find those positives- we got to make sure that we can either quarantine them or get them the help they may need in the hospital, finding those positive cases, it helps make sure that we can get them better. But 1,018 cases is going the wrong direction. So, we need you to wear a facial covering. 1,018 cases ought to be a wake up call if last week's 5,000 almost 5,000 cases wasn't. We can't let this thing get out of control again because maybe we're tired. We know the steps that it takes and I think tomorrow we'll be back again with our revised top 10 rules to defeat COVID-19, because we probably need to talk about them more and again. But, but this mask. We really need you to where it really needs you to wear it.
Racial breakdown of all cases: 80.32% Caucasian, 11.84% Black or African-American, 1.54% Asian, 5.80% Multiracial
Ethnicity breakdown of all cases: 89.17% non-Hispanic and 10.83% Hispanic
Racial breakdown of all deaths: 83.55% Caucasian, 12.80% Black or African-American, 1.12% Asian, 2.52% Multiracial
Ethnicity breakdown of all deaths: 96.41% non-Hispanic and 3.59% Hispanic
Long Term Care Facilities (PDF): 38 new residents and 23 new staff positive from yesterday, and 3 more deaths, 1 new facility.
Total facilities: 339
Total deaths: 670
Active cases: 576 residents, 437 staff
Total cases: 4413 residents, 2928 staff
K-12 Update (PDF): 15 new students and 14 new faculty/staff positive, 12 new schools from yesterday.
Total facilities: 576
Active cases: 746 students, 348 faculty/staff
Total cases: 1138 students, 411 faculty/staff
Again, this is our, our, our audited version, you're going to see the dashboard, which will have more up-to-date numbers, more immediate numbers, again remember our dashboard is what's reported by schools for the day before. It hasn't gone through the vetting of the local health department and through us but it's a way to have some immediate idea of what we may be seeing in your school or your community. And this is after it's gone through our process which can lag for five days.
University Update (PDF): 303 new students and 2 new faculty/staff positive from yesterday, 3 new facilities.
Total facilities: 58
Active cases: 1374 students, 48 faculty/staff
Total cases: 3244 students, 87 faculty/staff
I said yesterday that I believed we were at the start of a new escalation, we're certainly seeing that in today's numbers. That means we got to work harder. Now this is a war and we've won many battles. We can't walk away from the battlefield. We can't stop doing what it takes and I really need your help. In the Fall, and I think Dr Stack, who's back with us today after getting a week off, which I know is needed, will tell you that right now, moving into the fall, has the potential to be the most dangerous time we have seen in Kentucky. And it doesn't have to be, because we know that there is a vaccine in our future we just have to get to the point where we can prove that it's effective and deploy it to enough people. So are we willing to do what it takes to protect one another, until that point in time? I think that answer is yes, but we’ve got to prove it. Alright, I'm gonna ask Dr Stack to come up. He's got a couple of different things to come over to go over and then we'll answer questions.
Thank you Governor, it's good to be back. And I know that the people watching this will appreciate it was nice to go somewhere where no one recognized me for a change. So, I enjoyed my time away. I have a few updates I want to go over, So I'm going to start with the schools. So, for K-12 schools yesterday was the first day that the self-reported data from the schools went live as a public dashboard. So this was a screenshot that I took before I came here, you'll see a huge spike up on the data on the right hand side, that's what you would expect. In the interest of clarity, the schools were asked to report yesterday, the 28th, data for the first 24 hours. So information reported them in the last 24 hours, I didn't want to- this was not a tag; you're it moment, I'm not trying to go back in time, we're going to get a new steady state as we go forward. So, people may have had folks in quarantine last week or new cases last week that won't be captured here, it's a snapshot in time and it's beginning on Monday, the 28th. As I understand that we have about 2,000 K-12 schools in the state of Kentucky, that's public and private, of those we have about 1,700 plus in our database so far. Those who are not in the database we're getting outreach and emails. Thank you, we appreciate that, and we expect it, and we will add you if your name is not presented the way you want it presented, we will update those things. So we're working through those details, but it just went live yesterday.
We have over 1,300 schools who have reported data into this. So I'm satisfied that this is a good first step, but clearly when we're little over 1,300 reporting, when I just told you there's almost 2,000, we've got a ways to go. But for being only the second day that we've been doing this, thank you very much, I appreciate the effort. For those in the general public and for those who work in schools, K-12, this is a tool for you, more than anyone else. So we have other surveillance tools that I'll use for public health and I will definitely look at this but this is for the public. For those of you who have children in K-12 schools, you should be able to go here, you should be able to find your school by name, and you should be able to find the data that they've reported. If you don't find data here, I encourage you to call the school and ask them and enquire and work in partnership with them. Remember we get through this better if we work together. No one wins when we're pointing fingers at folks. This is all about trying to be honest, as open as we can, acknowledging the data, as we understand it, and being honest about that, and working together in good faith. So this is a tool for the public to try to help you be informed, at least in some closer to real-time situation as to what's going on in the school. We will report that the dashboard will update every morning with data from all the way through the previous day. And that's how that will be updated, and we'll go from here and see how that progresses over time,
Those of you who saw me discussed this a couple weeks ago will recognize this. This is the color-coded metric-based dashboard for schools to determine the mode of instruction they should be in for school. The way this works, you're supposed to look, if you're a superintendent or someone responsible for school, every Thursday we recommend it at eight o'clock at night because we update this around dinnertime or late afternoon every day. You look Thursday evening at the map that we have on our website, I didn't put the map in here, it's published right on the main page of the website every single day, you match the color of your county to the color on this map, it's that simple, and then you do the things that are down the column. Now those are recommendations and folks have asked for these recommendations or these requirements. So, the reporting I just talked about, and a metric along these lines, part of this comes from a KRS statute that talks about how schools behave during epidemics. This is all to give public health guidance so that superintendents can decide whether to have their students in person, virtual only, or hybrid instruction, and there are instructions and guidelines down there and a wealth of KDE documents. The Kentucky Department for Public Health continues to work with the Kentucky Department for Education so thank you for that partnership. We did make one change to this today, and this rests with me. I did not like that in some states, they used a 14 day criteria that when they closed to in-person instruction, they had to shut down for two weeks. I wanted to use the metric as much as possible to guide decisions to open and close and not pick, you know, an arbitrary number of 14 days. So I put in there, instead of a 14 day metric that when you hit the red level which is a very high level of disease that you had to get back down to yellow before you should consider resuming in-person instruction. I described that as Chutes and Ladders you hit a long chute and if you remember that game and you went down a couple levels. I have removed that part so now you just follow when you check on Thursday night whatever color, your county is what you should do for the following week, and you don't have to get back down to yellow. I have said from the beginning, it is not our intent to strand people in the wrong categorization. The tool is intended to identify when the disease is particularly active in your community, the entire community, that involves K-12 schools but it also involves nursing homes, and businesses, and also restaurants, and bars, the whole community has to come together- it's a community based problem, and the community has to come together to do what needs to be done to improve the situation. So the one change we made today was you don't have to go all the way back down to yellow to consider resuming in-person instruction. But we do strongly urge you to read everything that's on there, follow the guidance that's posted. And I have to place this in context before I go to my next slide. We have to take this seriously folks, it's about to get colder, people are going to go indoors more, the disease is still out there. Every place, every place on the planet Earth where people have gotten lazy and lax about following the things we recommend has seen a surge in disease, every place. And we've had some improvements in hospital care and some improvements in treatment, but we have not had any massive breakthroughs. So we are in a position where if we take our eye off the ball, we're gonna get in trouble real quick, and I'll make that point on the next slide.
So you've seen me use these, those of you who watch these briefings on a regular basis, over and over. This is from the 91-Dovic, the COVID-19 backwards website. And what it shows is, adjusted by population, the number of new cases per million people in your state on the seven day rolling average. So if you look New York got smacked hard and badly at the beginning, in fact to this day it's one of the areas that was the hardest hit in the entire United States and probably in the world, other than maybe Wuhan in the very beginning. New York has still managed to keep their disease burden relatively low, but even New York is still running that line down there, I think it’s at 50, so it's still running active disease, but it's much more suppressed. If you look at Kentucky, we're at about 152, now actually 160 new cases per million people per day. You’ll have to take my word on this, is really hot, that's running very hot. Remember this is a disease that when it gets out of control it starts to double rapidly. And so, the little simple math here you go from one to two to four to eight to 16 those numbers are still relatively small. When you go from 150 to 300 to 600 to 1,200 those are big numbers. So as you start getting those bigger numbers, that's more people sick, and after people get sick, hospitalizations follow, and after hospitalizations, that's when you can have deaths. And so what I put in here is New York as the red line. Who's relatively well controlled by comparison, if you were looking at Germany, on a different map- I can't put those that I found yet on the same map, countries and the States. If you were to take Germany, New Zealand, South Korea places that have lowered the disease and really kept it there, they would belong down near that black line at the very bottom. They've controlled the disease so well that in that country- if you didn't follow the rules you could walk out in public and you'd have a very low likelihood of getting sick but the reason it's that safe, is because they followed all the rules and they kept things closed down so that people in those countries are remarkably safe. But it's because they have very strong adherence to the things we're recommending be done. So, the US overall is the orange line. And if you look, we had a surge in the beginning, and a plateau and a surge and then it came back down and now it's on the upswing. I don't remember the latest data but as recently as the last 48 hours there were at least 26 states who are having a noteworthy positive increase in cases.
And then if you look at Kentucky, we had a nice long plateau, almost three months, at about 50 new cases per million per day. Then we surged up, and we have now reached a plateau of 150 to 160 new cases per million per day. But here's the challenge: the good news is we're not exponentially growing, the bad news is, if you were to draw a line against this, we have a general upward slope which means that actually over the last four to six weeks we're losing ground, it's getting worse as we go on. And it's getting worse at a time that schools are going back into session, colleges and universities are in session, bars and restaurants are open. Remember we said we tried to take a multifactorial decision making approach to this, we looked at a lot of different things, we recognize the importance of the economy, and people's wellness, and being at work, and activities, but we can't afford to let this get out of control. Here's the thing for those who like casino metaphors, the house always wins. So here's the thing: people may flaunt the rules and disregard the rules and you know what? You may luck out, and it may work out okay. But the bug, the virus, is the house here. I don't know what county, or what city, or where, but if we ignore the rules someone's going to get bitten and they're going to get bitten bad. I don't have to guess on that, I can tell you that with absolute certainty: Everywhere that people got sloppy the virus got out of control and took a lot more lives. So please, when I talk about these wrap up points I'm going to make here, please take this seriously. I hope you've seen over the last six to seven months, we have gone through a period in the spring where there was so much we didn't know, and there was legitimate reason to be terrified of what could happen. And now we've gotten into this phase where we know that if we take certain simple steps that we can control the spread of the disease. Now people are really tired of this, they're fed up with hearing about this stuff, and they want to get back to their lives, but I'm going to tell you, that's not happening until we get to some time next year and probably not until past the summertime, because even when we get the vaccines- and I'm glad that things have gotten revised at the federal level because now it's aligning with what I was saying for weeks before, is that we're not going to have sufficient amount of quantity of vaccination materials to get everybody until we get to the summer or beyond next year. Hopefully we'll get something in late December or early January, but it'll be a small amount and it will be for the highest risk or highest targeted individuals, and then we'll move forward from there. And when we get to a better place where we have more information and it's appropriate we'll update you on vaccination plans, which we're actively working on too. But until then, we've got to wear masks, we have to physically distance more than six feet, you have to wash your hands. You've got to do three other things, if you have a cough, a cold, runny nose, a fever, chills: do not leave your house, do not go to work, do not go to school. This, of all years, is not the year to be casual and spread any kind of infection, because you know what? If you’ve got a cough and a fever people aren't going to assume you’ve got the common cold, they're going to be worried you have COVID-19. Don't do it, if you're sick, stay home. If you're sick enough to need medical care, contact your primary care provider and seek advice.
The next thing is you have to get your flu shot. The United States apparently ordered 200 million doses of influenza vaccination this year which is higher than the 170 million they did the year before and even that was apparently a peak of sorts. You have to go out and get your flu shot. Let's make sure we use all those doses and force the government to order more of them, because if you get the flu shot, it's going to reduce the burden of flu. And if you wear your mask you know what? Flu spreads the same way can mask, you get your flu shot, there's a good chance we could shut down influenza this year. Again, if you're sloppy and careless it’s going to be impossible to know who has the flu and who has COVID, and people who are uncertain about their status are going to be subjected to a lot more needless worry, angst, and probably inconvenience, while they go through additional testing.
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Software Providers
Most online casinos today try to diversify their game offerings in order to cater to the needs of a larger group of people. This is certainly a great approach that has proved to be successful, but there are still many other gambling sites that shy away from modern trends and follow their own path. This virtual casino is a great example and is one of the casinos that work with a single software provider. But this is not necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, by choosing the right partner, the casino has cemented its position in this competitive industry as a site offering a high-quality, reliable and highly preferred product. The software company providing the games on this particular online casino is Atlanta and Costa Rica-based RealTime Gaming, which is regarded as one of the leading game developers. RTG, as it is better known, was originally established in 1998 and over the years has managed to grow and develop, becoming an industry leader. Its experience in the creation and supply of casino software is evident. RTG’s games come in high-quality HD graphics, lovely music and sound effects, and smooth gameplay. The games have a distinctive style, easily recognized by all their fans. The gaming portfolio of the company is nicely balanced and includes not only slots but also a diverse range of table games and video poker titles. The developer offers gambling operators two options; as an instant-play interface that uses Flash and can be opened easily in every web browser; as well as a downloadable casino software. Most RTG-powered casinos provide both of these and this one is no exception. There are over a hundred games that can be accessed in-browser or from the Casino Client and all of them load instantly and run without any problems. The software emphasizes security and customization and is safe and reliable and considered one of the best in this industry. As the software is recognized all over the world, it is also available to US players. >>Collect Free Bonus Here<<
Play Grande Vegas Casino Games
The online casino offers its customers a full collection of high-quality casino games, ranging from longtime favorites like video slots to classic table games such as blackjack, roulette, poker, and craps. Fans of video poker are also well-taken care of with a nice range of titles that can be found in most land-based and online casinos. For those who dream of becoming instantly rich, the online venue also offers several progressive jackpot games where winnings can go beyond the $1 million mark. On the negative side, there is no Live Casino, which can be seen as a flaw, considering that most casinos today try to offer as many live dealer games as possible. We should pay little attention to the lack of a Live Casino, however, because the abundance of great RTG slots is really impressive. Many of the games have bonus rounds, extra features and plenty of other options that make the gameplay truly entertaining and intense. Casino members are able to play for real money and for fun, as well, which is a great opportunity for new players to try different games without the risk of losing money.
Slot Machines
Much like slot machines in land-based facilities, online slots are the most beloved games in web-based casinos, attracting a large number of players with the promise of providing fun and possibly some nice winnings. They appeal to the crowds not with a low house edge like blackjack does, nor with the adrenaline and challenges of poker; they remain extremely popular because they switch certain emotional and psychological buttons inside of us. And for this reason, they will remain players’ favorite games, at least in the foreseeable future, experts say. With over a hundred slot games on offer, this online casino brings players a variety of exciting 3 and5-reel slots, as well as several quite unusual 6-reel games. You can spend hours playing the different games without feeling bored as they have distinctive gameplays, styles, and themes, as well as mesmerizing music that makes the experience even more enjoyable. Among the most popular RTG video slots offered at the casino are the Egyptian-themed, Cleopatra’s Gold, Aztec’s Treasure, Cash Bandits, and Count Spectacular. There are also famous titles that can be found at hundreds of online casinos today including Crystal Waters, Enchanted Garden II, Fruit Frenzy, Aladdin’s Wishes, and others. The casino also hosts select titles from RTG’s portfolio of progressive jackpot slots. These slots are in a network with the games hosted by other casinos supplied by RTG. Each bet placed on the particular game contributes some percentage to the jackpot, which is why it is called progressive; it constantly rises and can reach millions of dollars. There are several progressives offered here, including Aztec’s Millions, Megasaur and named for the famous ancient empire, Spirit of the Inca. >>Collect Free Bonus Here<<
Table Games
Larger casino software developers like Microgaming or NetEnt have much bigger collections of table games than the games in RTG’s portfolio. However, fans of classic casino action will be happy to know that at this virtual casino, they can play almost all RTG’s card and table games. This includes several variations of an option that has stood the test of time, blackjack, including Classic Blackjack 21, Perfect Pairs, European Blackjack, Face Up 21, Suit ‘Em Up Blackjack, and Match Play 21. There is also a game of Pontoon, which is considered an earlier version of the classic blackjack. The casino lobby hosts a few other card games, including baccarat, rummy, and table poker, all enjoying huge popularity in brick-and-mortar casinos across the world. Players at this online casino can choose from several virtual poker games, depending on their personal preferences, poker skills, and budget. These include the game created in 1985 in the U.S. by Sam Torosian, Pai Gow Poker and Tri Card Poker, as well as Caribbean Hold’em, Caribbean Stud Poker, and Let ‘Em Ride which have progressive jackpots. The graphics of these games are quick, colorful and more authentic than you can imagine. In addition, the casino offers several other table games such as the all-time dice classic Craps or the lottery-like game of Keno. Another extremely popular casino game is roulette, which despite being a game of chance, does allow players to use certain strategies to increase their winning odds. There are plenty of variations and even more virtual releases from different software providers. The two most widespread roulette games, however, European and American Roulette, are available for free or real-money play here.
Video Poker
Along with virtual slots and table games, the online casino has also prepared a wonderful collection of video poker games for players to enjoy. Since its arrival in land-based casinos in the 1970s, video poker is slowly, but steadily gaining popularity, especially among online gamblers. The game derives from the 5-card draw poker, but just like slot games, and all other virtual casino games for that matter, it is also based on Random Number Generator(RNG) algorithms which determine what cards will be dealt. This is the only random, chance-related aspect of video poker, the outcome of the game is a result of the player’s decisions and, therefore, can be controlled. Whether you are a good poker player or not, you can easily play video poker; it is automated and simpler than regular poker. This online casino has a wide range of video poker versions, starting with the classic Jacks or Better game, which does not differ much from classic draw poker. Players can also place bets on Aces and Eights, Deuces Wild, Seven Deuces, All American, Joker Poker, Double Double Bonus Poker, and more. There are versions featuring the so-called Wild Cards, which can substitute for any other card from the deck, while other video poker games offer higher payouts for certain winning combinations. For more excitement, the casino has added a few multi-hand video poker variations, where you can bet on up to 52 hands simultaneously. While they bring fun and more opportunities for hitting a winning combination, these games will also make you spend more on a single round. This is why multi-hand video poker is recommended for more experienced players who are able to employ successful strategies when playing. >>Collect Free Bonus Here<<
Supported Devices
As an RTG-powered gambling site, the online venue offers downloadable casino software, which is the standard casino from this developer. It is available for free download from the site. There is a large Download section and you will have the installation file on your PC or MAC just a few seconds after you click the Download button. Once the installation is complete, you can log in or register an account, make a deposit into your balance and start playing for real money. You can also choose the Play for Fun mode if you wish to first explore the casino games and learn all the basics. Alternatively, you can open the casino directly in the browser of your computer. All modern Internet browsers are supported, including Firefox, Chrome, Edge, Opera, Safari, etc. The Flash Casino lobby can be found in the section called Instant Play and it features even more games than the Casino Client. This is quite unusual, but the RTG’s instant-play platform is also rather exclusive and offered only at several other online casinos. The site is optimized for mobile play, too. It is available on various touch devices, including iPhone, iPad, and Android phones and tablets. There is no need to download a separate application; the Mobile Grande Vegas Casino is accessible through the browser of your portable device. Its design and layout are almost the same as the original, desktop casino, so players who open it for the first time will be able to easily browse through its sections. All of the casino’s functionalities are preserved in the mobile version, as well. Users will be able to register, play their favorite games, make deposits, and request withdrawals. As expected, the mobile gaming collection is smaller than the offerings in the desktop casino. Still, players will have a great choice of games on their phones or tablets, including numerous slots, over a dozen video poker games, as well as several classic table games like blackjack, poker, and roulette. >>Collect Free Bonus Here<<
Grande Vegas Casino Bonuses and Promotions
The promotions here are quite attractive to both new and existing players, allowing them to play their favorite games much longer or for free. Let us start with the Welcome Bonus, which, despite being nothing particularly exceptional, is still very generous. There are qualifiers/wagering requirements that come attached with the bonus, so be sure to determine what they are prior to making a deposit. In order to qualify for the bonus, players first need to either download the casino software or open the Flash Casino. After registering a real money account, they need to go to the Redeem Coupon section of the Cashier page of the casino and enter the code for the respective bonus they wish to receive. The coupon codes can be seen in the Promotions section of the online casino. One condition regarding deposit and no-deposit bonuses players need to take into consideration is that not all games contribute towards the playthrough requirement. The list of promotions at the online casino is quite long with plenty of other bonuses given on a regular basis. There are many other special offers like cashback bonuses, extra spins giveaways, reload bonuses, as well as slot tournaments. In addition, the casino has a great Loyalty Program and players are automatically enrolled when they open an account.
Grande Vegas Casino Payment Methods
There is one significant inconvenience, which is that international players will need to use US dollars if they want to play for real money at this particular online casino. This is the only accepted currency, which could be explained by the casino’s dedication to its American customers. The offered methods for making deposits and withdrawals are also quite limited compared to the wide range of banking options provided by many other online casinos. The casino allows deposits to be made using credit and debit cards (Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Diners Club International), digital wallets (Neteller, Skrill, and EcoPayz), the prepaid Paysafecard, different money transfer services (Western Union, MoneyGram), and wire transfers. The casino does not have any processing fees for the transfers and the deposit should appear almost instantly in your account balance. When it comes to withdrawing your winnings from the casino, you have several options, but you should know that there is a pending period of up to 48 hours for every withdrawal. Also, financial transactions are not processed during the weekends. If you use a credit card (with the exception of MasterCard, as the card issuer does not allow withdrawals from casinos), the withdrawal will be completed within 3 to 7 business days. If you retrieve your winnings to your e-wallet, they will be transferred within 24-72 hours. Wire transfers usually take between 5 and 10 business days to complete, while if you are receiving the payout via a courier check, you can expect it in at least 3 weeks. Sometimes, checks would arrive in over a month, which makes them a less preferred payment method. There are certain deposit and withdrawal limits (maximum and minimums) players need to consider before registering an account here as well. >>Collect Free Bonus Here<<
Grande Vegas Casino Customer Support
When choosing a suitable online casino, players always look for the game offerings and the withdrawal times, but another very important factor that needs to be taken into account is the customer support. A good support team will be able to answer all your questions and provide assistance if you encounter any sort of a problem. You will also want timely responses. Looking at all this, we can say that the support here is really excellent. The casino interface and support are available not only in English but in French, as well. The support agents can be contacted 24/7 via email or even better, via the Live Chat, where they will answer your query you within a few minutes. There is also a toll-free phone number for US-based players, as well as an international line for the rest of the world. If you feel all these are not convenient enough for you, you can also call the support via Skype; it's quick, easy and free of charge. When it comes to the support agents, they are experienced, knowledgeable and very efficient, and are ready to assist you with anything you need. The professional, timely support service, here will definitely make your stay at the online casino more comfortable and enjoyable.
Licensing and Restricted Countries
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Jackpot Capital is a US-friendly online casino that takes pride in having a good reputation in the industry. It is powered by Realtime Gaming and players can rely on a decent variety of casino games, sharp graphics and top-notch designs. The casino also offers multiple bonuses and promotions, which is yet another reason why more and more players join in and have a great time playing the games. They are vailable in Fun Mode and upon setting up your account, you will be instantly credited fun balance. Players will find the casino has all characteristics of a high-quality online casino and the number of players who join, speaks volumes to the fantastic features customers are able to take advantage of. The solid credentials the casino has are further boosted by the courteous customer support, the rapid payouts and last but not least, the incredible return to player (RTP) percentage. It is the favorite online gambling spot of a large number of US-based players who enjoy the benefits of one of the best online casinos in the US gambling market. The casino is dedicated to providing not only US players, but all customers with an exceptional selection of games, promotions and banking solutions.
Software
The casino runs on the RealTime Gaming (RTG) software platform. The latter is known as a reputable provider of online gaming solutions on a global scale and it is among the few developers available on the US market. All games, developed by RealTime Gaming ensure a safe gambling environment, fantastic graphics and a significant variety of themes. Players' financial and personal information is absolutely safe as the best encryption techniques are adopted. Most Realtime Gaming casinos used to be unavailable in instant play mode, which was seen by players as a serious disadvantage. Now, it seems this hurdle has been eliminated as the virtual casino is now available in instant play mode as well. If you download the software, you will be provided with the best game quality and interruptions caused by a slow Internet connection will also be kept to the minimum. The casino is constantly expanding its portfolio and it currently offers approximately 200 games in all game categories. No matter which RTG-powered game you choose, you will enjoy good speed and user-friendly design. As usual, games featuring a progressive jackpot are among the most widely preferred ones. Don't hesitate to indulge in an exciting and profitable game of roulette, craps, blackjack, baccarat. The slots section is worthy of checking out as well. The cutting edge technology, used by Realtime Gaming will surely deliver realistic gambling experience. >>Collect Exclusive Free Chips<<
Play Jackpot Capital Casino Games
Realtime Gaming is popular for having developed a plethora of top-notch casino games. The portfolio here confirms that statement as you will be able to find an incredible variety of table games that can be played in single and multi-hand variations, poker, slots, video poker, scratch cards. You will find the available games divided into several categories. If you want to take a look at all the games, you can just click on the “All” tab. The latest additions to the online casino's portfolio are found in the “New” section. Currently, no live dealer games are available.
Progressive
The casino features a number of games that make it possible for you to win millions by making a modest wager. The more players that take part in a certain game, the bigger the jackpot becomes, as a small amount of the bet is set aside for the progressive jackpot pool. Megasaur, Spirit of the Inca, Let It Ride, Caribbean Stud Poker, Caribbean Hold'em Poker are some the available titles. The Spirit of the Inca has the so-called boiling point jackpot feature, which adds further excitement to your gameplay.
Slots
The Slots section offers a decent number of titles and you have the chance to choose between the classic 3-reel slots and the latest 5- or 6-reel slots packed with bonus symbols and appealing awards. If you find a slot that features an exciting theme and matches your bankroll criteria, you can add it to your favorite games and therefore find it in the “Favourites” section later. Don't miss all-time favorites such as Achilles, Naughty or Nice, Bubble Bubble, Texas Tycoon, Triple Twister, Paydirt, Regal Riches, Aztec Treasure, Golden Lotus, Hen House, Spirit of the Inca, Pirate Isle, Orc vs. Elf, the ancient Rome-themed, Caesars Empire, etc. Some of the slots have the so-called Win-Win feature that basically eliminates the chance of leaving the game empty-handed.
Specialty
You will find a select few games in the Specialty section, such as Craps, Treasure Tree, American and European Roulette.
Table
The Table Games section is a bit more abundant than the Specialty one although players are still provided with a limited choice of games as compared to what some other casinos offer. If you are looking for several game variations of each table game, you might want to check out some other online casinos. However, if safety matters to you and you consider the casino's available games enough to possibly win a bit and enjoy yourself, you are more than welcome to place your real-money wager and indulge in Pontoon, Baccarat, Pai Gow, Match Up, Perfect Pairs, Classic Blackjack, European Blackjack, Super 21, Face Up, Three Card Rummy and a popular option believed to have originated on the island of Aruba, Caribbean Stud Poker.
Video Poker
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Supported Devices
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Jackpot Capital Casino Bonuses and Promotions
You'll be hard-pressed to find a more generous online casino than this one. The wagering requirements are not impossible to meet and the bonuses themselves are really appealing. In order to keep players entertained, the casino frequently changes the active promotions. Make sure you log into your account on a regular basis, to find out the casino's current promotions. The casino regularly offers a Welcome Bonus, and typically more than one. You can also take advantage of the latest “My Coupons” functionality that gives you the chance to prolong your gambling session. You have to regularly check what kind of coupons you are eligible for and redeem them within the set deadline. Loyal players are awarded even more generous bonuses. Every time you place a wager, you accumulate comp points, no matter if you win or lose. If you play your favorite games via a mobile device, you can qualify for a mobile bonus. Again, be sure to check with the casino to determine any specific qualifiers or wagering requirements. In order to be allowed to cash out a bonus, you will most likely have to meet a rollover requirement. Some games do not count towards fulfilling the wagering requirement, though. >>Collect Exclusive Free Chips<<
Jackpot Capital Casino Payment Methods
This virtual casino supports the following payment processors as deposit methods: American Express/ MasterCard, VISA credit/ debit cards, Neteller, Skrill, ecoPayz, Paysafecard. Although their availability varies from country to country, you will definitely have at least one convenient payment method at your disposal. It is important to know that the casino accepts USD only. Deposits in any other currency will be converted into USD according to the current exchange rate. If you opt for deposits via credit/ debit cards, you are required to enter your details and submit documentation proving that the debit/ credit card is actually yours. Neteller, Skrill, ecoPayz are three of the most convenient and the most widely used e-wallets. Deposits are instantly transferred to your casino account. However, before you make a deposit, you should fund your e-wallet via VISA, MasterCard, AmEx or JCB. Paysafecard is a prepaid card, but it is not available to US residents. As far as withdrawals are concerned, the casino offers Overnight Express function (available for Canadian customers). There is a minimum and maximum transaction per week requirement, and transactions are subject to a fee. For your convenience, you can also take advantage of the Debit Card Reloaded function. Minimum and maximums apply here as well, as do fees. If you choose EcoPayz, Skrill or Neteller, you will not be required to pay a fee for the transaction. CardPay enables you to receive your winnings directly to a credit/ debit card you have previously registered. If you wish so, you can receive your winnings directly to your credit/ debit card by initiating an International Bank Transfer. However, it may take up to 15 business days to have your funds deposited to your casino account.
Jackpot Capital Casino Customer Support
Players can count on exceptional customer service round the clock. The live chat option is considered the most convenient method of communication by players, who are helped by a customer care agent in real-time and their issue is promptly solved. You can also use the toll-free line: 1 800 571 7009 or the regular number 1 678 349 0095. If you have a lengthy question, you can send an email to [email protected] or get in touch with the support team via Skype. No matter which of the aforementioned options you choose, rest assured you will get an answer within 48 hours. The customer care team is available in English, but if you speak any other language, they will do their best to accommodate your request in the language you prefer. >>Collect Exclusive Free Chips<<
Jackpot Capital Casino Licensing
The online casino is operated by Greavestrend Ltd and the company itself holds a license issued by the Government of Cyprus. It seems the casino has found a successful formula for attracting more and more players. First of all, it is licensed by a reputable jurisdiction, plus, it is powered by a respected software provider. Last but not least, the gambling environment it ensures is absolutely safe. On the downside, the majority of players say the casino should accept more currencies. Minors, as well as players who reside in jurisdictions where online gambling is prohibited by law, are not allowed to create an account. Jackpot Capital reserves the right to close accounts created from the Washington state, Kentucky, New Jersey, New York, Missouri, Louisiana, Maryland.
Slotastic Casino $25 Free Chip Bonus No Deposit Required
Slotastic Casino No Deposit Bonus and Free Spins Are you a new player at Slotastic Casino? That's you lucky day! Get $25 No Deposit Bonus and 100 Free Spins Without Deposit! Click on the link to get exclusive promo codes. Only new players qualify for this offer. USA Accepted! >>Get No Deposit Bonuses Now<<
About Slotastic Casino [Review]
Slotastic is an established online casino operator which stays true to its name and offers a nice range of world-class slots courtesy of respected software developer RealTime Gaming. The focus here is indeed on slots, with players being able to choose from hundreds of bespoke titles, which boast different themes and features. There are options to suit all preferences, styles of play, and bankroll sizes as the casino offers both classic one-arm bandits and more advanced video slots as well as games with progressive jackpots that can change players’ lives overnight. It may have borrowed its name from everyone’s favorite one-arm bandits but this by no means should cause players to jump to the conclusion the casino has nothing else to offer. Quite the contrary, the library features a number of other premium options, including iconic table games like roulette, poker, craps and blackjack, as well as various arcade games like Keno and many video poker variants. The casino attracts players from a great number of countries with its easy-to-navigate, well-organized, and vividly colored website. Yet, great visual appearance and hassle-free navigation are hardly the only positives of joining the vast community here. The casino has a number of other perks to offer to enthusiastic players, including very time-efficient and friendly customer support, the option to play on the go on widespread smartphones and tablets, fair payouts, and numerous promotional incentives to keep both new and existing customers happy. >>Get No Deposit Bonuses Now<<
Software by Real Time Gaming
This casino operator went online back in 2009, after partnering with world-renowned casino software provider RealTime Gaming, also vastly known as RTG. Their partnership has proved to be long and extremely productive, not to mention it has attracted the interest of hundreds of thousands of players who have come to associate RTG with seamless gameplay and user-friendly interface. This is anything but surprising considering Real Time Gaming is one of the oldest and best known developers of premium casino software on the online gambling scene. The company was founded almost twenty years ago, in 1998, and quickly built an enviable reputation among players and casino industry insiders alike, a reputation it successfully maintains to this very day. At RTG, they claim to “Take gaming seriously” and it truly shows in the quality of their products. Each game that bears the brand name of “RealTime Gaming” is instantly recognizable with its flashy colors, life-like audio effects, and sleek animations. What is more, players who open their accounts here will benefit from a variety of useful features RTG games normally boast, including flexible betting limits and lots of cool bonus rounds. >>Get No Deposit Bonuses Now<<
Play Slotastic Casino Games
As was previously mentioned, the operator focuses primarily on slots and has plenty to offer in that particular department. In fact, there are so many titles in the casino’s slot collection that even the most avid reel fans can remain on the edge of their seats for hours on end. More importantly, new titles are added regularly, so the casino’s content library is constantly growing. Players are presented with two different options as the casino offers free downloadable software but also supports Instant Play.
Video Slots
The online casino's gaming collection comprises over 300 games and the majority of these are indeed slots. Players get to make a pick from an impressive arsenal of classic and five-reel titles but it is the selection of Real Series slots that attracts hordes of reel enthusiasts to the website. Naturally, these games are unique only to casinos running on RTG’s software but what is more important, players get the chance to collect random jackpots. This may not sound like anything new to those unfamiliar with RTG’s Real Series slots but the games are unique in that one is not required to line up a particular combination of symbols across the reels in order to collect the jackpot. Winning the jackpot is possible at any stake as players are not expected to bet the maximum in order to qualify. That being said, the games in the operator's slot portfolio certainly do not lack in terms of features. Players will also benefit from multiple paylines, special symbols like wilds and scatters, various bonus games, multipliers, and free spins. Some of the most noteworthy titles in the gaming collection include Aladdin’s Wishes, Mermaid Queen, The Three Stooges, Goblin’s Treasure, and T-Rex. Slot fans looking to bag a massive prize should head to the casino’s jackpot section where they will be able to try their luck on several progressive titles, including Shopping Spree II, Aztec’s Millions, Jackpot Piñatas, Cleopatra’s Gold, and the newer addition to RTG’s library, Spirit of the Inca.
Video Poker
Many players prefer video poker over slots since it is among the few casino games which can actually offer positive expectation if a good playing strategy is at hand. Unlike slots, this type of game is not based solely on chance as players can influence the outcome with their decisions. As video poker is a simplified version of five-card draw, it is suitable for players at different skill and experience levels. The online casino strives to meet the needs of video poker fans by offering them a nice selection of bespoke variations, including all-time favorites like Jacks or Better, Deuces Wild, Bonus Poker, All American Poker, and Joker Poker. Those who are interested in playing something less standard can opt for the Loose Deuces variation where the lowest paying hand is a Three of a Kind. Another interesting option is Sevens Wild where sevens can substitute all other cards, regardless of their suit or value.
Table Games
The online casino operator targets predominantly slot fans, its selection of table games is not extensive. This is not to say, players are left without options but the operator also demonstrates quality is far more important than quantity since all card and table games on offer impress with authenticity, superior graphics, intuitive interface, and immersive sounds, which are normally part of the unique ambiance of landbased casino floors. Blackjack fans can attack the virtual tables of Suit’em Up Blackjack, Match 21, Perfect Pairs, European Blackjack, Super 21, and Face Up 21. One variation of Pontoon is also available. Roulette fans are granted the option to test their luck in the European, American or French variations of the game or opt in for Multiplayer Roulette. It also offers severalquality variationsof the game of poker, namely Vegas Three Card Rummy, Texas Hold’em Bonus, Caribbean Stud, and Tri Card Poker. It is also possible to shoot the dice in a game of Craps or Sic Bo, but these can be found in the Specialty Games section.
Arcade Games
Betting enthusiasts who lack the necessary knowledge and experience to play card games but are not interested in slots, either, are not left without options. The casino offers a separate category of Specialty Games, where players can make a pick from various scratchcards and bingo games. One of the most interesting options is the game Treasure Tree, where players need to choose money bags hanging from the branches of a magical tree to earn monetary prizes or more free games. Those who succeed in revealing three bags of the same color can collect either 500x their initial bet or 25 free games where the payouts are actually tripled. Fans of number games will not be disappointed either as they are presented with several enticing options. Roaring Twenties Bingo is a dynamic bingo variation where it is possible to play up to a hundred cards simultaneously. Interestingly enough, the game is played with 91 balls, one of which is a wild. Playing Bonus Bingo is also a great option for fans of this particular type of game. One variant of the lottery-style game Keno is also available in the Specialty Games section. >>Get No Deposit Bonuses Now<<
Supported Devices
The casino keeps up to date with the trends in the industry as becomes apparent by its compatibility with an extensive range of devices, both desktop and mobile. The desktop casino is available for a free download via the casino client which is only 1.4 MB in size so that players will not have to waste too much of their disk space if they decide to install the software. Once installation is completed, players will be prompted to sign up with a real-money account by filling in their personal and banking information in the registration form. As of the present moment, the downloadable client is compatible only with desktop devices running on Windows OS. Many members prefer to enjoy their favorite games in Instant Play. This allows for greater flexibility since it enables players to access their casino accounts from any desktop device they like as long as it is connected to the Internet. The website and games run smoothly on all widespread operating systems, including Linux, Windows, and Mac. Some players have noticed the graphics and sound effects of the Instant Play version of the casino are not as crisp as those in the downloadable software, but this can be explained by the fact the games are loaded directly in the browser. Also, this would not be an issue provided that a reliable Internet connection is at hand. Speaking of browsers, the Instant Play version of the casino runs seamlessly on all widely used options, like Chrome, Safari, Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, and Opera. Mobile gaming is the latest craze among a huge number of online casino enthusiasts. This casino caters to popular demand and enables registered members to enjoy their favorite slots and casino games while on the go. At the present moment, the casino does not offer downloadable applications for smartphones and tablets, but players will never miss out on any of the action as the casino’s website is mobile-friendly and can be accessed via devices, based on iOS, Windows OS, Blackberry OS, and Android. To access this online casino on the go, players only need to type in the address in the phones’ browsers and will automatically be redirected to the mobile version of the site. Scanning the QR code is also an option. The mobile casino features a smaller number of games, with players being able to choose from around 35 titles. Yet, all the popular games have made it to the mobile site, including vivid and engaging slots like Enchanted Garden, T-Rex, Achilles, and Count Spectacular. The mobile casino is very intuitive and easy to navigate. Players will also benefit from the easy-to-use cashier menu and various exclusive mobile promotions and extra spins offers.
Slotastic Bonuses and Promotions
One great way to increase the value of your betting session and potentially give your starting bankroll a boost is to partake in the promotional incentives of the online casino. The casino also rewards existing players for their loyalty by offering them a broad choice of ongoing promotional offers. >>Get No Deposit Bonuses Now<<
Payment Methods
The online casino supports several trusted and convenient payment solutions players can use to boost their accounts’ balance or cash out the winnings they have accrued while spinning the reels if exciting slots. Players can conveniently load money into their accounts by using their credit or debit cards by Visa or MasterCard. One important thing to mention is that when depositing via their cards, players are required to fill in a credit card authorization form for every card they have used at the website before they are allowed to make a withdrawal. Those, who are reluctant to use their cards for online gaming purposes, are provided with the option to deposit via popular digital wallets, such as Neteller, Skrill, and ecoPayz. Depositing via Bitcoin is yet another option that grows in popularity among online casino players. One of the safest methods for online payments and purchases is Paysafecard. This method is also supported here and is very popular among casino players as it enables them to retain their anonymity while gaming online since it is prepaid and there is no need to disclose sensitive information when using it. One of the deposit methods, EasyEFT, is country-specific and is reserved exclusively for casino fans from South Africa. Players’ accounts are credited with the deposited amounts instantly, so they can join the action right away. Deposits are normally transferred to players’ balance for free but the deposited amount needs to be turned over at least once. The minimum limits for deposits vary depending on the method players use. Withdrawals can be processed via a range of reliable methods, such as digital wallets like Skrill and Neteller. Another way to cash out your winnings is to use international wire transfers but in this case, you will need to wait for 10 to 20 working days until the money reaches your account. Customers from the United States can withdraw via checks as well. You'll want to familiarize yourself with the specific payment methods' minimum and maximum deposit limits.
Slotastic Customer Support
The customer service provided by the online casino's support agents is known as adequate, timely and rather efficient. The members of the support team work around the clock to ensure all inquiries are replied to and all issues are resolved as soon as possible. At the current moment, there is no section with Frequently Asked Questions on the website so if players need information concerning payments, software or promotional offers, they will have to contact the support representatives to request assistance. Luckily, the casino’s website has a very convenient and easy-to-use live chat functionality, which makes receiving answers to your queries as easy as pie. The support agents are very obliging and work tirelessly 24 hours per day, seven days a week to help players. The weekends and public holidays are not an exception. Another option is to call over the phone on the toll-free hotline. If you are not in urgent need of assistance, you can always reach the support team via email and will receive a response within several hours. The operator's friendly support representatives can also be contacted via Skype at “slotastic_support”. Both the website and the support service are available in one language only, which is English. >>Get No Deposit Bonuses Now<<
Licensing and Restricted Countries
Players, who register their accounts here can rest assured they are joining a dependable and secure gambling website. The casino brand is owned and managed by a company called Orange Consultants Ltd. The casino is licensed and regulated by the government of Curacao. The operator is committed to protecting its players’ privacy as all the information they provide in the process of registration is kept strictly confidential and is never shared with any third-party companies. Additionally, players can have their peace of mind that their sensitive banking information is in good hands as the casino has adopted the latest SSL encryptions to encode all transactions to and from the website. The RealTime Gaming software the operator uses is tested on a regular basis and is proven to be fair. The online casino is also a strong proponent of responsible gambling and utilizes special controls to ensure only persons of legal gambling age can open accounts at its website. Special measures are taken against illicit activities, such as money laundering, as all players are required to fill in a special credit card authorization form for all cards they use at the casino. Players are expected to go through this verification procedure for security reasons. One of the greatest positives of this casino is that it welcomes players from the United States. However, there are some exceptions as the operator does not allow players from certain states to register at all. These include New York, Kentucky, Maryland, Louisiana, Missouri, New Jersey, and Washington. >>Get No Deposit Bonuses Now<<
Nevada casinos haven’t yet been forced to shut down, but they’ve been subjected to a new 25% capacity order. The limit was previously 50%. Some are also taking voluntary additional steps, as much to save money as to stem the spread of COVID-19. Mandalay Bay and The Mirage have elected to limit their hotel operations to Friday, Saturday and Sunday, though their casino floors remain open ... Current Status: 78 Closed 919 Open. Recent casino closures and re-openings. February 3 New Mexico: Isleta Resort & Casino re-opened. February 1 Wisconsin: Mole Lake Casino & Lodge re-opened . Last updated: February 8, 9 AM ET. See something that needs to be updated? Let us know. COVID-19 Resources . 05 Aug 2020. Have a question for us? Feel free to reach out to us for general inquiries ... Kansas casinos remain open for now. Kentucky racing. There are no casinos in Kentucky. Louisiana casinos. Most Louisiana casinos remain open, but at limited capacity. More information here on casinos in Louisiana. Maine casinos. Maine casinos are open but must close earlier than usual due to a curfew that has been set by the Governor. The curfew currently does not have a set end date. More on casinos in Maine The most accurate list of casinos in Kentucky (KY). Find addresses, read reviews and get the best offers on 3 casinos. By continuing to use the site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies in order to provide you the best possible experience. Learn more. Play online. EN FR 中文 DE ES IT Log in Register. Play online. near me. Home; Search; CASINOS in KENTUCKY (KY) - 2021 up-to-date List ... Arizona casinos open Friday with lines to get in. I have a neighbor that is fully prepared to bring his lawn chair out the night before when Vegas opens, like it’s a Black Friday sale. Casinos Currently Open. A few casinos are across the United States began reopening in mid-May. Most of them are on tribal lands in Oklahoma, but Deadwood, South Dakota casinos have been open since ... According to the joint venture partners in the project — Kentucky's famed Churchill Downs, Inc. and Keeneland Association, Inc. — Oak Grove Racing, Gaming and Hotel will boast lodging with 128 ... Here in our guide to the best online casino sites in Kentucky, we will in the future list several online casinos that are open to Kentucky residents to play at. You will be able to compare several parts at each KY Online Casino and thus also find the best Kentucky Online Casino according to your own wishes and preferences. We want to point out that the age limit for playing at an online casino ... Kentucky law allows slot games at racinos (casinos at racetracks). Racinos like Kentucky Downs carry hundreds of slot games and a handful of bingo games, which can be played when at the track. Since games of chance are illegal in KY, racetracks are the only locations, at which to play these games. There are also no tribal casinos in the state. Kentucky Revised Statutes, et seq.: Gambling. The opening of full casinos remains prohibited in Kentucky, but state laws have been relaxed to allow for electronic competition-based slots. Kentucky Revised Statutes,et seq.: Horse Racing and Showing. Allows horse running, trotting, pacing and harness races wagering.
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